How to deal with a introvert/booktrovert/recluse
Recently I have started working,it’s my first job and I try to be a good person ,behave well to people and smile at them but when you work in a office for 10 hours that much is not enough & the problem is I’m not good at long conversations especially about a spouses I have never met,or their kids school,yes I sympathise but I never seem to know what to say so I just say something very generic or keep quit,
I and many other people I have met need much more time to establish a trustworthy relationship to any person and we literally have to come out of our shells ,and we cannot just have empty talks
I sometimes even feel awkward complimenting someone’s outfit or their new hair cut even if I may like it, so I just say quite,but I have felt people don’t seem to get this kind of behaviour they feel I’m being rude or I never share anything personal while they share,and why I avoid human interactions
And I started questioning myself too,am I some psychopath who hates other humans but after a few therapy sessions and some books I get to know that there are many people like me,
Meanwhile at work It got to a level of introvert shamming to say the least.
So just to do a little for myself and people like me who would never tell this on your face (ahem) these are a few tips to bear with people like me
My type: While you may like to go to a pub and dance with a group I would rather go to library read or have coffe with someone who matches my frequency,or sometimes just stay at home watching Tv while having a champi from my mom,it’s really very rejuvenating for me
Simple steps to deal with me and people like me:-
1. Give them space and don’t take it personally : we don’t hate you or anything,neither are we sad but we need some time alone for introspection,to think about our self and yes we need much more “me-time” than most of the people
2. Sharing : We unlike extroverts don’t feel as comfortable sharing our feelings and problems to other people so we share them with ourselves try to solve them,sort them out and if still we are not able to do it ,we will come to you
3. Making Friends
Lets just refer to this pie chart here
4. Be a little more sensitive if I talk to you about my issues : Probably I have thought a lot about it myself before sharing it with you,and by sharing I’m being vulnerable and I trust you, be a little gentler than you usually be with your extrovert friends
4. And you may think we are psychopaths or we hate people,may be we are but I cannot talk for hours to you to explain it,but just get this we don’t hate people, we just prefer solitude and we do enjoy company of people that match our frequency but in divided doses.